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User blog:Akira Starfall/I hate my life.
"Life isn't about your stupid martial arts" Yes, it is. For me. It's always been. No one understands. NO ONE. My parents are the least supportive people in the world and they understand NOTHING. I'm sick of them trying to get me to tell them what's wrong, but when I tell them what's wrong, they act like it doesn't matter! WOULD YOU STOP BLINDLY THINKING THAT I CAN JUST GET OVER EVERYTHING CHANGING WOULD YOU STOP BLINDLY THINKING THAT SHOGUN WAS "JUST AN INSTRUCTOR" HE'S MY FRIEND. HE'S THE BEST FRIEND I'VE EVER HAD. WHEN EVERYTHING CHANGED. WHEN WE LEFT THE OTHER SCHOOL. OH MY GOD. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THAT HURTS. TO LEAVE BEHIND YOUR SECOND FAMILY. TO HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE TO SOMEONE WHO WAS LIKE A BROTHER TO YOU. QUIT ACTING LIKE IT'S INSIGNIFICANT. IT'S NOT. IT DOES MATTER. IT MATTERS SO MUCH. AND YES. MY LIFE IS ABOUT TAEKWONDO. THERE'S NO "BIGGER PICTURE" THIS IS THE BIGGER PICTURE JUST STOP YELLING AT ME AND STOP THREATENING TO TAKE AWAY EVERYTHING IF I CAN'T BE POSITIVE BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT I CAN'T BE POSITIVE YOU DO NOTHING BUT YELL AT ME YOU NEVER LISTEN YOU NEVER CARE YOU NEVER TAKE ME SERIOUSLY YOU DON'T SUPPORT MY DREAMS OF TEACHING TAEKWONDO AND MAKING THE OLYMPIC TEAM MY LIFE IS AWFUL STOP SAYING IT ISN'T I KNOW WE HAVE POWER, FOOD, SHELTER, ALL OF THAT BUT I'M NOT OKAY. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I CRY. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THIS HURTS. NO YOU DON'T YOU DON'T KNOW HOW PAINFUL IT IS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING AND, SHOCKING FACT IF YOU DON'T LET ME GO TO TAEKWONDO OR USE MY LAPTOP THIS WILL ONLY GET WORSE THE LATTER SOUNDS INSIGNIFICANT BUT FIRST OF ALL, I PAID FOR THIS WITH MY OWN MONEY. MY MONEY. THAT I EARNED. SIX HUNDRED FOURTEEN DOLLARS OF MY OWN MONEY. I HAVE A RIGHT TO USE MY LAPTOP. IT'S MINE. 100% MINE. YOU DON'T OWN ANY PART OF IT. SECOND OF ALL IF I CAN'T EMAIL SHOGUN WELL THIS JUST GETS A LOT WORSE DOESN'T IT HE AND WARRIOR ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE I CAN ACTUALLY TALK TO THE ONLY PEOPLE I CAN ACTUALLY TRUST AND I SURE AS HELL TRUST THEM A HELL OF A LOT MORE THAN I TRUST YOU WHY DON'T YOU TRY TO ACTUALLY SUPPORT YOUR CHILD INSTEAD OF YELLING AT ME ALL THE TIME I KNOW I'M NEGATIVE I KNOW YOU'RE SICK OF HEARING IT BUT I'M SICK OF HEARING YOU YELL AT ME AND TELL ME EVERYTHING'S FINE EVERYTHING'S NOT FINE STOP YELLING AT ME JUST DEAL WITH IT YOU WANT ME TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT BUT YOU NEVER LISTEN YOU JUST YELL AT ME AND YOU WONDER WHY I ALWAYS GO TO SHOGUN AND WARRIOR FIRST WITH MY PROBLEMS IT'S BECAUSE I CAN'T TRUST YOU NOT TO YELL AT ME AND YOU WON'T BE HELPFUL AT ALL BECAUSE YOU DON'T GET IT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING . . . I'm really mad at my parents, if you can't tell. :/ I also said "hell" twice. Three times now, I guess. Sorry. Update: NOW MY LAPTOP HAS TO STAY DOWNSTAIRS BECAUSE THEY THINK IT'S A DISTRACTION NO IT'S MINE IT'S NOT A DISTRACTION I DON'T NEED YOU LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER ALL THE TIME, WATCHING EVERYTHING I DO STOP JUST LEAVE ME ALONE I CAN'T GO TO TAEKWONDO IF I CAN'T STOP BEING NEGATIVE? YOU- DAMMIT THERE ISN'T EVEN A WORD FOR YOU. I. LOST. MY. BEST. FRIEND. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE POSITIVE ABOUT ANYTHING HE WAS THE ONLY LIGHT IN MY ENTIRE LIFE HE WAS THE ONE PERSON WHO COULD ACTUALLY MAKE ME HAPPY TO LOSE THAT IT'S PAINFUL IT HURTS LIKE HELL SO STOP TELLING ME TO BE POSITIVE DON'T YOU SEE I CAN'T BE POSITIVE I GO TO SCHOOL WITH THE WORST HUMAN BEINGS ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH I LOST MY MARTIAL ARTS FAMILY I CANNOT BE POSITIVE STOP YELLING AT ME YOU'RE SICK OF HEARING ABOUT HOW HORRIBLE EVERYTHING IS? I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME TO TALK ABOUT IT IF YOU'RE SICK OF HEARING ABOUT MY PROBLEMS WELL DAMMIT, NO ONE'S FORCING YOU TO LISTEN. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. JUST STOP MONITORING EVERYTHING I DO. JUST STOP MAKING EVERYTHING WORSE. SO NOW GUESS WHAT? I DON'T TRUST YOU. I CAN'T TRUST YOU. YOU'RE ONLY GOING TO YELL AT ME AND BE HORRIBLE. Category:Blog posts